The Practice Is the Way - Beginner's Mind

By Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MSW, RSW Registered Social Worker & Psychotherapist

Finding balance in beginner's mind: where mind, body, and serenity flow.

We Want to Feel Better. Fast.

We all do it—reach for the fix, the insight, the “aha!” moment that will finally make us feel steady. Whether we’re googling mindfulness hacks or booking back-to-back self-improvement workshops, we often rush to outpace discomfort. But here's the truth: growth isn’t a hack. It’s a practice.

And sometimes, the practice hurts.

The Momentary Pain Is the Practice

What if we stopped viewing discomfort as the problem and started seeing it as the path? What if the frustration, the self-doubt, the awkward vulnerability weren’t signs of failure—but markers of being on the right track?

Psychological flexibility—a core component of well-being—isn’t built from feeling good. It’s built from staying present with what is.

“Those who learn to tolerate emotional discomfort tend to experience more meaningful change.”

(Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010)

Beginner’s Mind Isn’t Just for Buddhists

The Zen concept of shoshin, or beginner’s mind, means approaching each moment with openness, curiosity, and no assumptions. In therapy, this looks like setting down the rigid narratives—“I should be past this by now,” or “I’m just not that kind of person”—and returning to what's right in front of us.

It’s a willingness to be curious rather than certain.

“Mindfulness cultivates a nonjudgmental awareness that can reduce rumination and enhance emotional regulation.”

(Chiesa & Serretti, 2009)

Breathe Here. Stay Here.

Sometimes the practice is literally just breathing. Conscious breathwork calms the nervous system, slows racing thoughts, and anchors us in the present. It’s not glamorous—but it’s powerful.

Breathwork has been shown to lower cortisol levels and activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

(Jerath et al., 2006)

When we pause, when we breathe, we stop running from ourselves. That’s where balance starts.

Willingness vs. Willfulness

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we explore the difference between willfulness—the rigid, controlling stance—and willingness—the open, responsive one.

Willfulness says, “This shouldn’t be happening.”

Willingness says, “It is happening… now what?”

We can’t white-knuckle our way to peace. But we can choose how we relate to our experience, and that choice changes everything.

Walking the Middle Path

The “middle path” isn’t about mediocrity. It’s about nuance. It’s where self-compassion meets accountability. It’s where effort meets surrender. It’s learning to live in the both/and instead of the either/or.

This is what makes therapy powerful. Not quick fixes—but building the strength to stay present with yourself, even when things feel messy.

The Work That Works

If you’re tired of shortcuts that leave you feeling more confused than clear, maybe it’s time to slow down. The practice isn’t about perfection. It’s about staying in the room—with your breath, with your discomfort, with your values—and doing the next right thing.

And that practice?

That’s the way.

Ready to Begin?

I help high-achieving professionals slow down, reset, and reconnect with themselves. If you're looking for a space to explore your patterns and find a path that’s yours, reach out.

Let’s start the practice—together.

References

Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878.

Chiesa, A., & Serretti, A. (2009). Mindfulness-based stress reduction for stress management in healthy people: A review and meta-analysis. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 15(5), 593–600.

Jerath, R., Edry, J. W., Barnes, V. A., & Jerath, V. (2006). Physiology of long pranayamic breathing: Neural respiratory elements may provide a mechanism that explains how slow deep breathing shifts the autonomic nervous system. Medical Hypotheses, 67(3), 566–571.