What’s Pulling You? Understanding Conflict with Kurt Lewin’s Field Theory

By Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MA, MSW, RSW

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a tug-of-war with your own decisions?

Welcome to the psychological terrain Kurt Lewin called your life space. Lewin, often referred to as the father of modern social psychology, developed Field Theory to describe how human behavior is a function of both the person and their environment—B = f(P, E) (Lewin, 1936). That “field” includes your goals, fears, obligations, relationships, beliefs, and the pressures you’re responding to at any given moment.

Navigating Choices: A figure stands at the center of intersecting arrows, symbolizing the complexity of decision-making in a modern, structured environment.

In my psychotherapy practice, especially when working with high-achieving professionals, Lewin’s lens helps clarify what clients often describe as “feeling pulled in too many directions” or “not knowing what’s next.” Whether you’re negotiating a career transition, experiencing burnout, or navigating a fraught relationship, Lewin’s insights offer not just language—but liberation.

Field Theory: You Are Here

Field Theory emphasizes that we can’t fully understand a person without understanding the full map of their current psychological landscape. Your actions are never in a vacuum. You're in a complex field of forces—internal and external—shaping what feels possible (Lewin, 1951).

For instance:

• A working parent weighing a promotion that means more money and more time away from home

• A team leader sensing a misalignment between their values and their organization’s culture

• A clinician or educator managing emotional labor while contending with institutional limitations

These aren’t just choices—they’re emotional geographies.

When Forces Collide: Conflict Theory and Psychological Tension

Lewin (1935) identified three classic types of psychological conflict:

1. Approach–Approach Conflict:

Two attractive options. For example, choosing between two exciting job offers in different cities. Both are desirable—but selecting one means letting go of the other. The conflict can be energizing, but still stressful.

2. Avoidance–Avoidance Conflict:

Two undesirable options. Perhaps staying in a toxic job vs. facing the uncertainty of unemployment. Motivation tends to stall here, and people often feel trapped.

3. Approach–Avoidance Conflict:

A single option that is both appealing and threatening. Think: a dream role that also carries burnout potential. This internal push-pull often creates anxiety and indecision.

Sound familiar? These conflicts often show up in therapy. They’re not signs of failure—they’re signs of complexity.

Bridging to the Present: Why It Matters in Therapy and Work

Field Theory and Conflict Theory remain deeply relevant in psychotherapy, especially for high-functioning adults struggling with emotional decision paralysis or self-doubt masked as overthinking.

These frameworks help us:

• Map ambivalence: Understand why you’re stuck and what’s influencing you

• Name the stakes: Clarify what you’re afraid to lose or what you’re longing for

• Build momentum: Shift internal forces in your favor by clarifying values and direction

They also complement modern evidence-based approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which centers on values-based action (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2011), and Self-Determination Theory, which emphasizes autonomy, competence, and relatedness as key drivers of wellbeing (Ryan & Deci, 2000).

A Personal Compass for Complex Terrain

Therapy isn’t about eliminating conflict—it’s about learning how to navigate it with clarity, courage, and self-trust.

In our work together, we use insights like Lewin’s to move from gridlock to growth. Whether you're wrestling with workplace dilemmas, leadership fatigue, or identity transitions, your psychological field matters. Let's map it—and move through it—together.

If you're feeling pulled in too many directions or caught in a decision spiral, you’re not alone. Let’s explore the psychological terrain together. I offer complimentary 20-minute consultations to see if we’re a good fit.

Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MA, MSW, RSW

Psychotherapist for High Achievers | Toronto & Virtual

Helping you align your values, direction, and self-trust.

References

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Lewin, K. (1935). A Dynamic Theory of Personality: Selected Papers. McGraw-Hill.

Lewin, K. (1936). Principles of Topological Psychology. McGraw-Hill.

Lewin, K. (1951). Field Theory in Social Science: Selected Theoretical Papers (D. Cartwright, Ed.). Harper & Row.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.