Search Results

Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MA, MSW, RSW Psychotherapist | Social Psychologist Cultivating Connections: Embracing the Interwoven Tapestry of Self and Others You’ve got the career, the accolades, the lifestyle. But somewhere underneath all those achievements, you might be feeling... unseen. Maybe it’s not so much about what you’ve done—but more about feeling like you matter. This isn’t about ego—it’s about your well-being. So let’s dive into why mattering is critical, and how it all connects to your mental health, relationships, and self-identity. Why Feeling Like You Matter is Essential You know that feeling when you’re in a meeting, putting in the work, and suddenly you catch yourself thinking, “Does anyone actually notice what I’m doing here?” It's uncomfortable. We don’t just want to be seen; we want to feel that what we do counts. Mattering is tied to a fundamental need for belonging and purpose. Research shows that Sarason's psychological sense of community —the feeling that we belong and have a meaningful role—is tied to our mental health. Without it, we start questioning our worth and isolating ourselves. For many high achievers, this sense of invisibility creeps in when you're juggling it all—career, personal life, and a never-ending to-do list. But if you don’t feel that you matter—if there’s no acknowledgment or meaningful connection—things begin to unravel. Vulnerability: The Secret to Authentic Connection Let’s face it, vulnerability doesn’t come naturally when you’ve been taught to excel at all costs. High performers are wired to succeed, keep up appearances, and get results. But guess what? Real growth and connection happen when we let go of that perfect facade and show up as we really are—flaws, doubts, and all. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you're weak; it means you’re human. But you’re not just letting your guard down for anyone. Vulnerability is a tool for creating real relationships —those where you can breathe and be yourself. When you let yourself be seen, you’re giving others the chance to connect with the real you. And that’s where the magic happens. The Fear of Vulnerability: It’s More Common Than You Think Let’s talk about that voice in your head that says, “Don’t show weakness.” It’s a voice rooted in fear—the fear of being judged, rejected, or seen as less than perfect. If you’ve spent years building a successful career, showing any sign of weakness can feel like the ultimate risk. But here’s the catch: the fear of vulnerability is usually a sign of insecurity, not a reflection of who you truly are. In fact, embracing vulnerability is often the catalyst for personal growth . When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’re giving yourself permission to experience connection—not just with others, but with yourself. Connection: Quality Over Quantity This is where it gets interesting: you don’t need a huge network to feel seen. What matters is quality . You need relationships where you feel safe to be your true self. Those few meaningful connections —whether in your personal life or at work—are what will sustain you, especially during those inevitable challenging moments. And then there's the relationship with yourself. That’s where it all begins. When you get comfortable in your own skin and accept yourself fully, that confidence spills over into every other relationship you have. This is self-awareness at its finest—where you don’t need external validation to know your worth. Why Mattering and Connection Are Especially Important for Mid-Life Professionals By the time you hit mid-life, you might start feeling like you’ve achieved a lot—and yet, something’s missing. Maybe it’s not the accolades. It’s the sense of mattering . As professionals with years of experience, you’ve likely hit the career milestones. But somewhere along the way, you may have lost touch with why you started in the first place. Here’s the thing: mattering doesn’t just come from your professional identity. It comes from what you contribute to the world and how you show up in the lives of others. It’s about feeling that your role is meaningful—and it’s about personal connection . That’s the stuff that fuels true satisfaction. Let’s Talk About It If any of this resonates with you—if you’re a high-achieving professional wondering whether you matter, struggling with vulnerability, or feeling disconnected from your true self—I’d love to chat. With over 20 years in clinical practice and training , I help clients like you explore these feelings, reconnect with their values, and rediscover what truly matters. I hold a PhD in Social Psychology, an MA in Community Psychology, and an MSW, RSW . I’ve been practicing Zen Buddhism and Shiatsu since 1995 and have spent years teaching psychology and working directly with professionals to enhance well-being, emotional intelligence, and resilience. If you’re ready to explore what it means to truly matter—and reconnect with the authentic, powerful version of yourself—let’s talk. References Sarason, S. B. (1974). The Psychological Sense of Community: Prospects for a Community Psychology. Jossey-Bass. Brown, B. (2015). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham. Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “What” and “Why” of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227-268. Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life's Challenges. New Harbinger Publications.

What if that belief didn’t have to fade with adulthood? Once upon a time—maybe around the age of 6—you wore a cape to the grocery store and introduced yourself as a space explorer, dragon slayer, or jazz musician. You had zero marketable skills and no idea how taxes worked, and still, you believed you could be anything. Then life intervened. Someone handed you a mirror. Not the kind that reflects your dreams, but the one that magnifies flaws. You were told to be realistic, responsible, careful. To edit yourself. Smile more. Don't be too loud. Don't want too much. Welcome to adulthood, where big dreams go to get rebranded as “impractical,” and self-doubt shows up in a blazer at team meetings. But here’s the thing: That six-year-old wasn’t delusional. They just hadn’t been taught to fear their own voice yet. The Authenticity Trap Psychologist Carol Tavris once said, “The human mind is a spin doctor that never sleeps.” We're brilliant at justifying our choices—even the ones that shrink us. Over time, the gap between who we are and how we act becomes so wide, we forget who started the story. This is the heart of inauthenticity: not that we lie to others, but that we’ve slowly lost the plot with ourselves. Authenticity isn’t about letting it all hang out. It’s about alignment—between your values and your actions. It’s knowing what matters to you and choosing that, even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable. Social Anxiety, Meet Self-Belief One of the biggest culprits that steals our sense of authenticity is social anxiety—the fear that others are scrutinizing us, judging us, or silently rating our performance like an episode of Black Mirror. But here's the twist: social anxiety isn’t really about other people. It's about what we imagine other people think of us—and how little we trust ourselves to handle it. According to Clark & Wells’ cognitive model (1995), socially anxious people focus intensely on internal cues (e.g., racing heart, blushing) and engage in self-monitoring that actually increases anxiety. Add in low self-efficacy—the belief that we can't cope or perform well—and we end up trapped in a loop of avoidance and overthinking. Confidence doesn’t come from being perfect in the spotlight. It comes from surviving the moment you thought you wouldn’t. Psychologist Albert Bandura coined the term self-efficacy to describe our belief in our ability to succeed in specific situations. The more you try (and survive), the more your confidence builds. This is the foundation of mastery. And here’s where it gets even more interesting: when we act in alignment with our values—even when it’s scary—we also create meaning. We become active authors in our own story, rather than passive characters waiting for a plot twist. Meaning isn’t something we find. It’s something we make. A New Chapter: Reclaiming Your Belief What if you could revisit that once-upon-a-time belief—that you could be anything—not as fantasy, but as fuel? What if confidence isn’t a personality trait, but a skill? What if authenticity is a muscle you rebuild, choice by tiny choice? And what if the most courageous thing you do this year is let yourself become who you were always meant to be? References: Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. Clark, D. M., & Wells, A. (1995). A cognitive model of social phobia. In R.G. Heimberg et al. (Eds.), Social Phobia: Diagnosis, Assessment, and Treatment. Kashdan, T. B., & McKnight, P. E. (2009). Origins of purpose in life: Refining our understanding of a life well lived. Tavris, C., & Aronson, E. (2020). Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me). About Me A young girl confidently dons her Wonder Woman costume, embodying strength and heroism with a spirited pose. Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MSW, MA, RSW I’m a Social-Personality Psychologist and Registered Social Worker with 20+ years of experience helping high-achieving professionals, creatives, and quiet overthinkers rediscover their voice and rebuild confidence from the inside out. I use evidence-based practices—like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and meaning-centered therapy—to help clients reconnect with what matters and take courageous action, even when doubt lingers.

Ever get stuck in your own head like it's a bad podcast you can’t turn off? You know the one—it features special guest appearances from doubt, fear, imposter syndrome, and that voice that sounds suspiciously like your 10th grade gym teacher who said you “lacked hustle.” If so, congratulations. You’re a human being with a fully functioning brain. And that brain is trying to protect you—even if it means running old scripts that sound more like sabotage than safety. But here’s where things get interesting. According to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), the goal isn’t to shut down those thoughts. The goal is to unhook from them, so they don’t run the show. The Hook: When Thoughts Become Dictators In ACT, “cognitive fusion” is the term for when we’re so tangled in a thought that we treat it as fact. "I’ll never get this right." "I’m not smart enough." "They’re going to figure out I don’t belong here." These aren’t just thoughts—they’re hooks. And when we’re hooked, we don’t act with choice. We react with fear, avoidance, or perfectionism (which is just fear with better branding). As psychologist Steven C. Hayes, one of ACT’s founders, puts it: “When a thought dominates your behavior, it has moved from being a thought to being a rule.” That’s where psychological flexibility comes in. Psychological Flexibility: The Mental Gymnastics Worth Training For Psychological flexibility is the ability to notice your thoughts and feelings, and still choose to move in the direction that matters most to you. It's the ACT equivalent of "I see you, Thought. I'm not fighting you. But I’m still going to do what I care about." It’s not about being fearless. It’s about being values-driven. Research has consistently linked psychological flexibility with lower anxiety, better performance, and greater well-being (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010). Not because life gets easier—but because you get better at responding to it. Values: The Compass, Not the Map ACT doesn’t hand you a to-do list. It hands you a compass: your values. These are the directions you care about moving in—not goals you can check off, but qualities of being you want to embody. Want to be courageous? That doesn’t mean you feel brave. It means you take brave actions, even if your knees are shaking. Want to be authentic? That doesn’t require confidence. It just asks for honesty—especially when it’s uncomfortable. When we act from values, we build something radical: earned confidence. Not the “I nailed it, therefore I am worthy” kind. But the “I showed up anyway” kind. Confidence, then, becomes the side effect of choice. Choice: The Quiet Power Move Here’s the secret sauce: each time you choose a value-aligned action, even in the presence of doubt or fear, you’re training your brain to trust you. You’re saying: “I’m not here to feel safe. I’m here to be who I want to be.” And that, my friends, is how you unhook. Not by waiting for the thoughts to stop—but by moving forward with them in your passenger seat, not your driver's seat. So next time that unhelpful internal podcast starts up, try this: Name the thought (e.g., "Ah, the 'You're-not-good-enough' episode again"). Notice the urge it brings ("I want to avoid this meeting"). Connect with your values ("I want to lead with integrity"). Choose one small, value-driven step ("I’ll speak up once, even if my voice shakes"). As Carol Tavris might say, “We justify most of our actions not to others, but to ourselves.” ACT helps make sure those justifications actually serve the life we want—not the one fear is trying to protect. References: Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2016). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change. Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878. Embracing a moment of harmony, a person gracefully stretches, blending physical agility with mental focus. Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MSW, MA, RSW is a Social-Personality Psychologist and Registered Social Worker with over 20 years of experience helping high-achieving professionals build psychological flexibility, self-confidence, and meaningful lives. Her approach combines evidence-based therapy, career psychology, and values-based coaching to support people in becoming the best version of themselves—without burning out in the process.

Let’s start with a truth that many of us live, but few of us name: we live in a culture obsessed with performance. We measure our worth by productivity, our potential by hustle, and our success by outcomes. And we train accordingly. We train our bodies with personal trainers, our careers with mentors, our resumes with credentials. But our minds? They’re often left to fend for themselves, expected to just keep up. If you’re an athlete, entrepreneur, student, or high-performing professional, you probably know how to grind. You probably know how to push. But here’s the irony: the thing that most often gets in the way of performing at our best isn’t physical. It’s psychological. Overthinking. Doubt. Distraction. Nerves. That feeling like you suddenly forgot everything you knew the second it mattered most. That’s not a failure of preparation. That’s a failure to train the one thing you rely on most: your mind. Flow State: The Mind Trained to Let Go You’ve probably heard of flow. It’s that magical zone where time bends, your sense of self fades, and your performance rises. But flow isn’t magic. It’s a neurobiological and psychological state that comes from a delicate dance between focus, challenge, and confidence. Flow happens when our skills meet our challenges just right. But it also depends on our ability to get out of our own way. And that, friends, requires mental training. According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the father of flow psychology, one of the key inhibitors of flow is self-consciousness—that internal narrator that questions, critiques, and second-guesses mid-performance. It’s the same voice that turns performance anxiety into paralysis. And while we can’t silence it forever, we can learn to work with it. The Enemy of Flow: Overthinking Overthinking masquerades as preparation. It wears the disguise of diligence. But in performance contexts, it can be disastrous. Studies show that explicit monitoring (over-focusing on technique during skilled performance) disrupts automaticity and actually degrades performance (Beilock & Carr, 2001). In other words, thinking too much about what you’re doing while you’re doing it makes you worse at it. So what’s the antidote? Train Your Mind Like You Train Your Body Mental training isn't just mindfulness. It's not just visualization. It's the ongoing, deliberate practice of: Building psychological flexibility (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010) Practicing present-moment awareness and breathwork to regulate arousal Cultivating willingness over willfulness (Linehan, 1993) Learning how to ride the waves of discomfort rather than resist them Strengthening confidence through evidence-based mental rehearsal Peak performers in every field train these skills. Olympians visualize. CEOs regulate nervous system reactivity. Musicians practice recovery from mistakes, not just perfection. Why not you? Mental Grit Isn’t Just Toughness—It’s Flexibility Angela Duckworth popularized the term "grit" as passion and perseverance. But mental grit isn’t about muscling through every experience. It’s about adaptability. It’s knowing when to push, when to pause, and how to recalibrate. It’s confidence that isn’t performative—but rooted in awareness, presence, and aligned action. It’s the difference between showing up armored, and showing up ready. The Invitation Whether you’re facing the boardroom, the classroom, or the arena, your performance will rise to meet the quality of your mind. If you want to train that mind—not just to quiet the noise, but to build the clarity, confidence, and mental agility required to perform under pressure—I can help. I’m Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MSW, RSW. I work with high-performers who want more than just coping skills. I offer evidence-based mental performance coaching rooted in decades of experience as a social psychologist and therapist. Together, we can train the most powerful tool you have. Let’s get to work. References: Beilock, S. L., & Carr, T. H. (2001). On the fragility of skilled performance: What governs choking under pressure? Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 130(4), 701. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row. Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865-878. Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. Guilford Press. Duckworth, A. L. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Scribner.

By Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MSW, RSW Registered Social Worker & Psychotherapist Finding balance in beginner's mind: where mind, body, and serenity flow. We Want to Feel Better. Fast. We all do it—reach for the fix, the insight, the “aha!” moment that will finally make us feel steady. Whether we’re googling mindfulness hacks or booking back-to-back self-improvement workshops, we often rush to outpace discomfort. But here's the truth: growth isn’t a hack. It’s a practice. And sometimes, the practice hurts. The Momentary Pain Is the Practice What if we stopped viewing discomfort as the problem and started seeing it as the path? What if the frustration, the self-doubt, the awkward vulnerability weren’t signs of failure—but markers of being on the right track? Psychological flexibility—a core component of well-being—isn’t built from feeling good. It’s built from staying present with what is. “Those who learn to tolerate emotional discomfort tend to experience more meaningful change.” (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010) Beginner’s Mind Isn’t Just for Buddhists The Zen concept of shoshin, or beginner’s mind, means approaching each moment with openness, curiosity, and no assumptions. In therapy, this looks like setting down the rigid narratives—“I should be past this by now,” or “I’m just not that kind of person”—and returning to what's right in front of us. It’s a willingness to be curious rather than certain. “Mindfulness cultivates a nonjudgmental awareness that can reduce rumination and enhance emotional regulation.” (Chiesa & Serretti, 2009) Breathe Here. Stay Here. Sometimes the practice is literally just breathing. Conscious breathwork calms the nervous system, slows racing thoughts, and anchors us in the present. It’s not glamorous—but it’s powerful. Breathwork has been shown to lower cortisol levels and activate the parasympathetic nervous system. (Jerath et al., 2006) When we pause, when we breathe, we stop running from ourselves. That’s where balance starts. Willingness vs. Willfulness In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we explore the difference between willfulness—the rigid, controlling stance—and willingness—the open, responsive one. Willfulness says, “This shouldn’t be happening.” Willingness says, “It is happening… now what?” We can’t white-knuckle our way to peace. But we can choose how we relate to our experience, and that choice changes everything. Walking the Middle Path The “middle path” isn’t about mediocrity. It’s about nuance. It’s where self-compassion meets accountability. It’s where effort meets surrender. It’s learning to live in the both/and instead of the either/or. This is what makes therapy powerful. Not quick fixes—but building the strength to stay present with yourself, even when things feel messy. The Work That Works If you’re tired of shortcuts that leave you feeling more confused than clear, maybe it’s time to slow down. The practice isn’t about perfection. It’s about staying in the room—with your breath, with your discomfort, with your values—and doing the next right thing. And that practice? That’s the way. Ready to Begin? I help high-achieving professionals slow down, reset, and reconnect with themselves. If you're looking for a space to explore your patterns and find a path that’s yours, reach out. Let’s start the practice—together. References Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878. Chiesa, A., & Serretti, A. (2009). Mindfulness-based stress reduction for stress management in healthy people: A review and meta-analysis. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 15(5), 593–600. Jerath, R., Edry, J. W., Barnes, V. A., & Jerath, V. (2006). Physiology of long pranayamic breathing: Neural respiratory elements may provide a mechanism that explains how slow deep breathing shifts the autonomic nervous system. Medical Hypotheses, 67(3), 566–571.

By Dr. Meagan Yarmey, PhD, MSW, RSW Feeling Lost Is Human—But the Fast Fix Isn’t Always the Real One We all struggle with uncertainty. Feeling directionless can be deeply uncomfortable—and our instinct is to fix it as fast as possible. So we search for clarity: We turn to self-help books, personality tests, career quizzes, and influencers promising instant insight. We try on identities that sound good, hoping one will finally fit. Sometimes these tools offer a useful starting point. But more often, they keep us busy rather than grounded. They offer the illusion of progress while postponing the deeper work of real self-discovery. Amidst a world of books and nature, a man stands at the threshold, contemplating his journey towards finding meaning and purpose. The Allure of the Shortcut Shortcuts feel reassuring. They give us structured answers to life’s messier questions. They look like purpose—but often leave us feeling more lost than before. Jobs, relationships, or lifestyles may seem “right” on paper but feel empty in practice. We’re not doing anything wrong—we’re simply trying to avoid the discomfort of not knowing. But in exchange, we risk building lives that don’t truly reflect who we are. A Different Way Forward The more honest path isn’t fast—and it definitely isn’t easy. It asks us to pause. To question the scripts we’ve inherited. To sit in uncertainty longer than we’d like. It may feel unsettling, even painful at times. But that discomfort is where the deeper work begins. Purpose Isn’t Found—It’s Formed Real purpose doesn’t come from the outside. It’s built slowly, through curiosity, reflection, and values-driven choices. It’s not about having one perfect answer. It’s about creating a life that feels real and aligned. There’s no shortcut to that kind of clarity—but the longer road leads somewhere meaningful. Want support navigating that path? You're not alone—and you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

I recently watched The Diplomat  on Netflix and found myself reflecting on the importance of a “diplomatic mindset.” It’s a skillset built on emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and the ability to navigate challenging situations with grace and empathy. While often associated with leaders or global negotiators, these skills are invaluable in our workplaces, personal relationships, and communities. Lessons from My Career As a psychotherapist and teaching faculty member, I frequently face emotionally intense scenarios. At the start of my career, I worked with a client who was highly reluctant to talk about their issues, often reacting with defensiveness or silence. Initially, I felt compelled to fill the silence, but I discovered that remaining calm, listening, and honoring their pace was significantly more effective. Gradually, we established trust, and they started to share more openly. This experience strongly reinforced the idea that patience and empathy can foster meaningful connections. Another experience that stands out was working with an individual facing intense workplace stress. They were overwhelmed, blaming themselves for their struggles. Instead of jumping to solutions, I validated their feelings and shared insights about how perfectionism and self-criticism can affect performance. Watching their mindset shift from self-blame to self-compassion reinforced how balancing empathy with evidence-based strategies can empower others to grow. I imagine most of us have faced situations where staying composed and empathetic feels challenging—whether it’s a tense conversation with a boss or a moment of frustration with a loved one. These experiences remind us that navigating conflict thoughtfully can transform relationships and lead to better outcomes. What Is a Diplomatic Mindset? A diplomatic mindset combines key psychological skills to navigate complex interactions effectively. These include: Emotional Intelligence (EQ): EQ is foundational to this mindset, encompassing self-awareness (recognizing your emotions), other-awareness (empathizing with others), and emotion regulation. High EQ has been linked to better decision-making, conflict resolution, and stress management (Salovey & Mayer, 1990). Emotion Regulation: Staying calm under pressure is critical. Research shows that individuals skilled in emotion regulation are better equipped to manage interpersonal conflicts and remain focused during high-stress situations (Gross, 2015). Relationship Management: This involves building trust, resolving conflicts, and fostering collaboration. Effective relationship management strengthens connections in both professional teams and personal circles (Goleman, 2000). Active Listening and Compassion: Actively listening to understand—paired with genuine compassion—builds trust and reduces misunderstandings. Compassionate communication has been shown to foster stronger bonds and greater cooperation (Goetz et al., 2010). Willingness and Intrinsic Motivation: A diplomatic mindset requires the willingness to engage in emotionally challenging conversations and the intrinsic motivation to grow and connect, driven by personal values rather than external rewards (Ryan & Deci, 2000). Why It Matters in Work and Life The beauty of a diplomatic mindset is its versatility—it’s just as valuable in the workplace as it is in your personal relationships. At Work: In client-centered roles like mine, the ability to remain calm, listen actively, and communicate effectively is critical. These skills build trust and allow for meaningful collaboration, even in one-on-one professional relationships. With Family and Loved Ones: As a parent, I’ve seen how these skills play out in my personal life. Recently, during a disagreement with my teenager, I felt my frustration rise. Instead of reacting impulsively, I paused and said, “I want to hear your side of this, but let’s both take a moment to cool down.” That small act of regulation allowed us to have a calmer, more productive conversation later. In Everyday Life: Even interactions with strangers or acquaintances benefit from a diplomatic mindset. Whether it’s handling a miscommunication with a service provider or helping a neighbor navigate a disagreement, approaching situations with empathy and patience fosters goodwill and connection. Finding Balance: Authenticity and Skill While the skills of a diplomatic mindset—emotional regulation, empathy, and communication—are powerful, they are most effective when balanced with authenticity and vulnerability. Overusing these skills as a way to avoid showing your true self can lead to disconnection. Genuine relationships require honesty, even when paired with emotional composure. How I Can Help If you’re interested in developing a diplomatic mindset, I’d love to help. In 1:1 sessions, we’ll focus on building emotional intelligence, emotion regulation, and relationship management skills. Together, we’ll work on balancing these strengths with authenticity, helping you thrive in both your personal and professional life. DM me today to learn how these skills can transform the way you engage with the world. References Goleman, D. (2000). Leadership That Gets Results . Harvard Business Review. Goetz, J. L., Keltner, D., & Simon-Thomas, E. (2010). Compassion: An evolutionary analysis and empirical review. Psychological Bulletin , 136(3), 351–374. Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry , 26(1), 1–26. Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist , 55(1), 68–78. Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition, and Personality , 9(3), 185–211.

During my professional journey in clinical practice and psychological research, I have created mental health education initiatives and a Wellbeing Framework specifically designed for achieving success in the workplace. This framework focuses on three essential elements: a psychological sense of control, adaptability, and social integration. Its objective is to promote the thriving of each employee by providing them with the necessary tools to effectively handle both work-related and personal difficulties. Wellbeing goes beyond simply not being ill; it encompasses a dynamic condition of health and energy that is shaped by thoughts, emotions, sensations, behaviors, and environmental factors. Genuine wellbeing in employees leads to a sense of social connection, purpose, and optimal performance. The Science of Wellbeing and Professional Success Research consistently shows a strong link between wellbeing and productivity. A positive state of wellbeing enhances performance, and professional success, in turn, boosts overall wellbeing. This reciprocal relationship underscores the importance of integrating wellbeing into workplace culture. Adopting a wellbeing framework is not only strategic but also aligns with growing research linking employee wellbeing to organizational success. Key benefits of a Wellbeing Framework include: Enhanced Employee Engagement : Wellbeing frameworks that foster a sense of belonging, purpose, and connection significantly boost employee engagement. According to Gallup, highly engaged employees are 21% more productive and have 41% lower absenteeism rates. Reduced Turnover and Increased Retention : Organizations prioritizing employee wellbeing see lower turnover rates. Research in the  Journal of Occupational Health Psychology  indicates that when employees feel supported and valued, job satisfaction increases, reducing turnover intentions. Organizational Resilience and Adaptability : A wellbeing framework contributes to organizational resilience. A study in  Frontiers in Psychology  found that organizations supporting employee wellbeing are better equipped to handle disruptions and adapt to changes. Financial Performance : The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that for every $1 invested in employee mental health, there is a $4 return in improved health and productivity. The Wellbeing Framework: Four Essential Domains My Wellbeing Framework is based on a culture of care and reflects values such as inclusivity, respect, and compassion. It consists of four key domains and is integrated into a social structure. Picture this structure as a network where you, as an individual, and the social environments like family, peers, and community, interact and impact each other constantly. The four domains include: Psychological Social Emotional Physical A key element of this framework is fostering a sense of belonging, ensuring employees feel valued and connected within their work environment. Pathways to Wellbeing Enhancing workplace wellbeing requires the cultivation of soft skills, such as personal attributes, interpersonal abilities, and social skills. These skills facilitate effective and harmonious interactions among individuals, in contrast to hard skills, which are technical and job-specific, focusing on interpersonal relationships and behavior management. Self-Awareness : The ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. A study in the  Journal of Organizational Behavior  shows that self-aware employees experience higher job satisfaction, leading to improved wellbeing. Self-Regulation : The ability to manage energy, emotions, and behaviours effectively. Research in  Personality and Individual Differences  indicates that employees with strong emotional regulation skills experience less stress and greater job satisfaction. Mental Agility : The ability to adapt and respond flexibly to challenges. According to the  Journal of Positive Psychology , employees with high mental agility are more resilient, leading to greater overall wellbeing. Social Connection : The experience of feeling close, valued, and cared for, which is crucial for developing positive relationships. The  Journal of Vocational Behavior  highlights that strong social connections at work enhance job satisfaction and overall wellbeing. Conclusion Introducing a wellbeing framework that fosters the enhancement and cultivation of soft skills is more than just a corporate social responsibility initiative; it is a strategic necessity supported by scientific research. Soft skills such as adaptability, emotional intelligence, and problem-solving are essential for managing uncertainty and overcoming new obstacles, and they can be honed. Through consistent practice, these skills can enhance both personal wellness and career achievements. If you want to know more about individual sessions or group therapy for enhancing these skills, please don't hesitate to reach out. References Baker, W., & Dutton, J. E. (2007). Enabling positive social capital in organizations. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 70(2), 311-325. Dutton, J. E., & Heaphy, E. D. (2003). The power of high-quality connections at work. Research in Organizational Behavior, 25, 263-297. Ford, M. T., & Tetrick, L. E. (2011). Relations among occupational hazards, attitudes, and safety performance. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 16(1), 48. Gallup. (2020). Employee engagement on the rise in the U.S. Gallup News. Retrieved from https://www.gallup.com. Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Personality and Individual Differences, 85, 348-362. Halbesleben, J. R., & Wheeler, A. R. (2008). The relative roles of engagement and embeddedness in predicting job performance and intention to leave. Work & Stress, 22(3), 242-256. Harter, J. K., Schmidt, F. L., & Keyes, C. L. (2002). Well-being in the workplace and its relationship to business outcomes: A review of the Gallup studies. In Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived (Vol. 2, pp. 205-224). Luthans, F., & Youssef, C. M. (2007). Emerging positive organizational behavior. Journal of Positive Psychology, 2(3), 205-215. Newman, A., & Houghton, J. D. (2011). Psychological resilience: A review and critique of definitions, concepts, and theory. Frontiers in Psychology, 3, 1-12. Reivich, K. J., Seligman, M. E., & McBride, S. (2011). Master resilience training in the U.S. Army. American Psychologist, 66(1), 25. Sutton, A. (2016). Measuring the effects of self-awareness: Construction of the Self-Awareness Outcomes Questionnaire. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 37(6), 793-810. World Health Organization. (2019). Mental health in the workplace. Retrieved from https://www.who.int/mental_health/in_the_workplace/en/

Imposterism and John Henryism are two psychological challenges that can deeply impact your career and well-being. Both create stress and can stall professional growth, but with the right support, you can overcome them. What Are Imposterism and John Henryism? Imposterism is the persistent feeling of being a fraud, despite your achievements. You might attribute your success to luck, which fuels anxiety and self-doubt. This is surprisingly common—up to 70% of people experience it at some point in their lives (Clance & Imes, 1978). John Henryism, named after the folk hero, refers to the relentless effort to overcome adversity, often seen in marginalized communities. This drive for success can take a toll on physical and mental health (James, 1994). Both can lead to burnout, stress, and reduced job satisfaction if left unchecked. How Psychological Career Services Can Help Build Confidence and Self-Awareness : Overcoming imposterism starts with recognizing your strengths and accomplishments. Cognitive-behavioral techniques can help shift negative thought patterns, leading to lasting confidence (Kumar & Jagacinski, 2006). Develop Resilience : John Henryism can result in burnout from constant pressure. Resilience-building strategies like stress management and mindfulness can help balance ambition with well-being (Grossman et al., 2004). Navigate Career Transitions : Major career changes can intensify these challenges. Tailored support during transitions can help set realistic goals and manage anxiety, ensuring smoother shifts. Find Career Satisfaction Without Sacrificing Wellbeing The goal of psychological career services is to help you thrive in your career while maintaining your mental and emotional well-being. By addressing both, you can find long-term satisfaction and success (Whiston et al., 2017). Ready to take the next step? If you're struggling with imposterism or John Henryism, or simply want to develop skills to thrive, I'm here to help. DM me to learn more about my imposterism group or schedule a session—we'll work together to create a path to a more confident, balanced professional life. References Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241-247. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0086006 Grossman, P., Niemann, L., Schmidt, S., & Walach, H. (2004). Mindfulness-based stress reduction and health benefits: A meta-analysis. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 57(1), 35-43. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0022-3999(03)00573-7 James, S. A. (1994). John Henryism and the health of African-Americans. Culture, Medicine and Psychiatry, 18(2), 163-182. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01379448 Kumar, S., & Jagacinski, C. M. (2006). Imposters have goals too: The imposter phenomenon and its relationship to achievement goal theory. Personality and Individual Differences, 40(1), 147-157. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2005.05.014 Whiston, S. C., Li, Y., Mitts, N. G., & Wright, L. (2017). Effectiveness of career choice interventions: A meta-analytic replication and extension. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 100, 175-184. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2017.03.010

In today’s fast-paced work environment, supporting mental health is more essential than ever. Mental health literacy—the knowledge and skills to foster wellbeing—is key to creating a workplace where individuals can thrive. But what exactly is mental health literacy in the workplace? It refers to the organization’s collective ability to support employee wellbeing, recognize mental health challenges, and foster an inclusive culture where open conversations about mental health are encouraged (Jorm, 2012). What does strong mental health literacy look like in action? The 3Rs Framework— Recognize, Respond, Refer —provides a clear guide. This framework equips employees to identify when a coworker is struggling, respond with empathy, and guide them toward appropriate resources. Supporting coworkers can be challenging, which is why organizations benefit from prioritizing interpersonal skill development alongside mental health awareness. Effective communication is foundational to fostering mental and emotional wellbeing in the workplace. Two essential skills that can easily be incorporated into daily interactions are active listening and the GIVE technique from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (Linehan, 1993): Active Listening: Active listening involves fully engaging with the speaker, listening without judgment, and responding thoughtfully. It helps validate colleagues’ feelings, builds trust, and strengthens working relationships. The GIVE Skill: G: Be Gentle  — Approach conversations with kindness and respect, especially during stressful moments. Use a tone and body language that convey empathy. I: Appear Interested  — Show genuine curiosity about colleagues' perspectives, even when they differ from your own. This fosters stronger collaboration. V: Validate  — Acknowledge your colleagues' feelings and thoughts, creating an environment where they feel understood and valued. E: Easy Manner  — Maintain a lighthearted, approachable demeanor to reduce tension and promote open communication. By consistently applying these skills, we can create a work environment where people feel psychologically safe and supported, leading to open communication, better collaboration, and greater job satisfaction. Prioritizing mental health literacy and interpersonal skills not only enhances individual wellbeing but also leads to improved performance, stronger professional relationships, and a healthier work-life balance for everyone. References: Jorm, A. F. (2012). Mental health literacy: Empowering the community to take action for better mental health. American Psychologist , 67(3), 231. Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder . Guilford Press.

Wellbeing is a widely discussed concept, often defined as a balance of positive emotions, the absence of negative ones, and overall life satisfaction. At its core, wellbeing is driven by three psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness (Ryan & Deci, 2000). Closely linked to this is the idea of "flourishing," which refers to thriving in an optimal state of functioning characterized by growth, resilience, and generosity (Keyes, 2002). Research shows a strong connection between an individual's wellbeing and their work performance. When psychological support is prioritized, employees experience higher productivity, engagement, and job satisfaction (Grawitch et al., 2006). Supporting one area of wellbeing can often lead to improvements across the board. In my work with professionals, I’ve seen how essential it is to integrate mental and emotional support into workplace environments. A holistic approach to wellbeing should go beyond physical health to include creating safe, supportive spaces where people feel valued and understood. Employees need to feel comfortable expressing their needs without fear of judgment. Mental health professionals, like myself, can offer tailored support for individuals facing career-related challenges. This support addresses both the emotional and practical aspects of work, helping individuals overcome barriers, make informed decisions, and find greater fulfillment. For instance, I frequently work with clients to tackle imposterism, building their confidence and helping them recognize their achievements. Together, we also develop new skills and strategies to manage workplace stress. These services can be delivered through individual sessions, workshops, group therapy, or virtual platforms, depending on individual needs. By addressing the psychological dimensions of work challenges, I aim to empower people to flourish in both their personal and professional lives. As our understanding of the connection between wellbeing and success grows, it’s important for workplaces to evolve and meet the changing needs of employees. My goal as a psychotherapist is to help clients not only reach their professional aspirations but also thrive in all areas of life. References: Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist , 55(1), 68. Keyes, C. L. M. (2002). The mental health continuum: From languishing to flourishing in life. Journal of Health and Social Behavior , 43(2), 207-222. Grawitch, M. J., Gottschalk, M., & Munz, D. C. (2006). The path to a healthy workplace: A critical review linking healthy workplace practices, employee well-being, and organizational improvements. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research , 58(3), 129.